My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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