Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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