I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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