Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
