somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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