I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I had to cum in my sink.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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