I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
