Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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