Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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