right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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