I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
