escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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