I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
