Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
In America we eat man semen.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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