I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
