Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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