That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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