well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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