You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize