here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
