Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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