I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize