He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
