i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
