Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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