mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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