So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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