Where are you?
In a non slutty way
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
