I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
