Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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