Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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