Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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