Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize