I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
