My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
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I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
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