seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
