Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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