I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
