Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
this just has baby written all over it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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