Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.