I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.