he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.