im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach