No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
