I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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