i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
