a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
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I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
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I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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