i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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