I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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