you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
