We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
