i think i have two assholes
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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