Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
