Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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