thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
