I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
