In the future we'll all be gay
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My life is pants optional.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
