After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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