i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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