You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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