I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
