so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
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Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
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that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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