somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
