Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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