So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
