He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
