oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
