Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize