I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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