Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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