Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize