Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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