Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
