I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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